If this is your first holiday as a single woman or man after a divorce, the holidays can be painful and stressful. It’s a difficult time, and another step in the transition into your new life. Be good to yourself, spend time with family and friends who make you feel good or simply take a moment to do something you like and recharge your batteries.
Embrace the things you know will lift your mood and stay away from anything that saddens you. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself. If you have children, when the children are with your ex during the holidays, make sure you are with people you enjoy, spend a day at the spa, or try a new restaurant with friends. Do the things that make you feel good. If the children are spending time with you during the holidays, create a new holiday tradition so that you and the children have a distraction and are starting to create new holiday “memories.”
In our society there is a lot of pressure to have a great holiday. Don’t push yourself. Allow yourself to grieve your loss and heal your wounds. I think you should discuss with family and friends what you are capable of doing this year, and what your not. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t handle all the festivities on the calendar. Reach out for support if you need it and remember a new year is around the corner. Start doing things differently. Get involved with some social groups and explore new interests. Take action and begin your journey from divorce to discovery by letting go of the past and embracing the New Year.