EXPERIENCE THE HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL BRENNER DIVORCE MEDIATION METHOD!
What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “divorce?”
“Fight!” Hire a Lawyer.”
This is the way it’s been ever since the founding of our country when we
imported the British legal model for divorce – the adversarial system. Now that one in
every two marriages in this country ends in divorce, the devastation caused by the system
has come under question. Is there a better way?
Yes. It’s called “Mediation.” New on the radar for the last few years, it is now
becoming more widely known. It was previously employed in labor negotiations, but its
use has been expanding to include family law problems.
Here’s how it works: The divorcing couple hires one individual, instead of two
opposing lawyers, to help them resolve their differences. The mediator is an
independent, unbiased individual, trained in mediation (usually a lawyer or a mental
health professional), whose job is to facilitate an agreement on all issues between the
husband and wife. The results are astonishing and are achieved often in hours and
weeks, instead of months and year. The central truth about divorce today is that it is not
just a legal experience, it is also a psychological experience. In the traditional system
Divorce is a conflict-based, lengthy, and costly process which completely ignores the
important psychological dynamics and behavior of the couple.
As you know abusive relationships are very much in the news today. Many marriages end because one party is abusive, and often the victim is not even aware of the abuse. The old system of divorce encourages people to hurt each other and to fight when it is not absolutely necessary. It is possible for couples to change their automatic behavior and achieve an entirely different outcome.
I developed my unique divorce mediation method during my 35+ years of experience and practice as a divorce attorney, psychologically - trained medical professional, and court-appointed mediator. My divorce mediation method involves behavior modifications, the use of psychology - identifying personality and character traits, emotions, family dynamics, and applying the law to develop strategies for a more positive experience. This method is less adversarial, less expensive, and less time-consuming than the traditional system. It keeps couples out of court and away from lawyers. Unlike the standard approach, this method takes into consideration the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that affect divorcing couples, and which, if properly identified, can be used to leverage a more successful and calmer outcome.
Unlike the approach of other divorce attorneys my divorce mediation method addresses the pervasive presence of verbal abuse in its many destructive forms:
- Criticizing
- Hiding finances
- Blaming
- Controlling
- Threatening
- Denial
- Insulting
- Withholding
- Ignoring
- Gas lighting
- Separating from friends and family Verbal abuse disguised as jokes.
My divorce mediation method does not approach Divorce just based on the law, it’s based on psychology too! You get to choose how you want to end your marriage. You can litigate, negotiate or mediate. How you navigate the process depends not only on the law of your state but largely upon the psychological dynamics of your relationship; the emotions, thoughts, personality traits and behavior of the individuals.
The personality and behavior of both you and your spouse make a difference—a big difference—in the nature and outcome of your divorce.
Let me help you avoid the traditional horror stories of divorce!
I will work for and with both of you to help you reach a settlement that permits you to
concentrate on the future and the potential it holds. There is a typical process we will use
to reach a settlement; however, your individual needs may cause us to depart from a strict
adherence to it.
During the process we will:
- Develop current and future income information;
- Develop budgets;
- Inventory marriage assets (property);
- Begin to define each of your short – and long-term goals;
- Define general areas of agreement;
- Identify substantive areas of disagreement;
- Identify symbolic and emotional issues;
- Work through the parenting arrangements;
- Negotiate money differences.
If you want to try a highly successful, less expensive, compassionate approach to your divorce call me! I will help you navigate your divorce using the law and psychology to achieve a productive, fair, amicable agreement and a happier future!
Call New York Divorce Attorney and Mediator Lois Brenner today to schedule your Divorce Mediation Session! 212.734.1551
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I had read about Lois’ unusual divorce method in one of her blog posts. It was refreshing to see someone was working with the psychological issues in divorce. My husband is bipolar and getting him to agree to a divorce and commit to the process was tough. When we met with Lois she really understood him. She immediately identified his mental health issues, and because she has a psych background, she was empathetic to his needs and was skillful at guiding him through her divorce mediation process. It took a while but she really got us to a point where we could actually discuss things without my husband blowing up. Her method is unique and it really helped in our situation. She actually recommended a great psychiatrist who changed my husband’s meds at her urging (she has a medical degree too), and my husband is coping much better. We can’t thank her enough for her compassion and advice! If you need a divorce attorney, especially if mental illness is a part of the fabric of your marriage, go see Lois! Thanks Lois - Lorna P.
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You two are really the dynamic duo! I can’t thank you both enough for the incredible job you did on my case. As a young career woman and working mother of a toddler I could not have been in better hands. You really toughened me up and guided me when I was feeling really lost. I was afraid of my husband’s clever antics but you worked hard on my case and encouraged me to fight. The settlement I received exceeded my expectations. You both listened, always returned e-mails, phone calls and even reached out to me on the weekends when I was having trouble. If anyone is going through a divorce and needs the best people to fight for you call Lois and Matt. It was the best thing I ever did. There are no words to express how grateful I am.- Tara P.
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I am a highly successful money manager and before meeting Lois Brenner, hiring a divorce attorney was a disaster. Two previous divorce attorneys really wasted my funds, and had no savvy when it came to asset and property distribution. Lois Brenner finally fixed the mess I was in. She and her team of financial experts, including attorney Matthew Ehrlich were able to prepare an asset and property distribution that was realistic, keeping in mind tax ramifications, and important distributions and allocations. They negotiated a thorough and financially sound divorce settlement. If you have a lot of assets, just any divorce attorney won’t do. You really need someone with a lot of knowledge. Lois Brenner and Matthew Ehrlich were really impressive. Thanks!!- Michael C.
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"Like at First Sight!" We consulted Lois on the best, most cost-effective way to get divorced. First, she extended a free in-office consultation to us. It was supposed to be one hour; it was an hour and a half. She was gracious, didn’t rush us, explained thoroughly all the ins and outs of going to court, and answered thoroughly lots of our questions. She also shared lots of great information on divorce mediation, which we really knew nothing about, and now we have decided mediation will be the best route for us. We knew in the first 10 minutes that we really liked and trusted her. We are starting our mediation process with her next week. We are really looking forward to working with her. We feel strongly she is the best person for us.- Jen
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What a gem! Lois Brenner is the best out there by far... She got my husband and I right away. Listened, guided, let me cry, and never gave up on us during our mediation sessions. It was not easy but she made it possible. Even my husband liked her and agreed to mediate after we had lots of arguments. Thank you Lois. I already recommended you to my cardiologist. Have a happy, productive New Year.- Bernie A.
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“First, you were so easy to talk to and second, you really know what you are doing!”- Sharon
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I had a complicated situation wherein I had to get a divorce through publication as my husband and I had not been in contact for 5 years and I was out of the US for a few years. (it was an abusive marriage) I reside in Buffalo and I spoke with several attorneys locally but I did not feel that any of the local attorneys were able able to understand my situation. Some suggested that I locate my husband, and each one of them wanted to start by identifying and listing the assets. Unsatisfied, I started looking for attorneys in NY city, and I found Ms. Brenner through Avvo. During the consultation, she was extremely kind and understanding and agreed to take on my case. Ms. Brenner helped me get a divorce through publication and she/her team took care of everything. All I had to do was provide her with documentation. I am grateful to Ms. Brenner for helping me get out of a sticky stressful situation. I would definitely recommend her to anybody in a similar situation. Thank you, Ms. Brenner.
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Lois acted as the mediator in my divorce, and she was absolutely excellent. It was a very difficult time for me personally, but Lois made the process as easy and painless as it could possibly have been. She listened to each of us separately, and made thoughtful and helpful suggestions. She is fair, and seemed to genuinely care about finding a solution that was best for both parties. Lois is perfectly qualified to handle this type of situation, given her background in psychology. She truly understands people, and used this ability to keep my ex-husband and I calm, and smoothly navigate a few tricky situations. I felt very understood by Lois, and think that she not just a top-quality attorney, but also a very decent person. She is responsive, and answered my emails within a couple of minutes every time. Highly rated!
