Tips for Handling Divorce Anxiety!
Yes, divorce anxiety is a real thing. As a psychologically-trained medical professional and divorce attorney, I can spot divorce anxiety right away. I often see the symptoms before my clients do.
Why wouldn’t divorce be stressful? There are so many negative emotions that arise once divorce is in the air. The decision to divorce is a big life change. Divorce is fueled by sadness, anger, fear, and confusion. This is especially true if you have been married to your partner for many years.
My psychological training and legal experience gives me a unique insight into the inner emotional workings of a divorcing couple. I like to say when I work with couples I am not only addressing the head (legal strategy), but also the heart (emotions) of the divorce process.
Most divorce attorneys’ education and training is to address only the “legal” part of the divorce process. The legal system does not encourage divorce attorneys to address the emotional component of divorce. For me, divorce is about people, not just lawyers, judges, child support, property or assets. While getting the best possible legal results for my clients is first and foremost, helping clients maintain a healthy, balanced and less stressful journey is equally as important.
- Preparation:
There is a lot of planning that goes into a divorce. You’re thinking, soul searching, researching, and making decisions. In addition to selecting the right divorce attorney, couples should also consider working with a therapist. I find having some of my couples work with a skilled psychologist helps tremendously with the divorce process.
Additional emotional support is a great prescription for navigating the highs and lows of divorce. Therapy can be particularly helpful if one party is resistant to the divorce.
- Focus:
If you have children, focus on them. They are going to need all the support you can give them. Spend quality time with them. Depending on their age, explain some of what’s going on, in an age appropriate manner, but not all of it. Remember, they are children. They need to feel safe, secure and loved by both parents. Don’t speak negatively about your spouse, tempting though this may be, to your child. Save that for your therapy sessions.
- Support:
In addition to the skilled representation of a divorce attorney, and emotional guidance and support of a therapist, surround yourself with family and friends. The love and support of family and friends is the best divorce medicine. When someone is going through a divorce it is very common to become isolated. This isolation often leads to depression. Don’t isolate yourself! I know it feels like the easy way out, but it’s also the unhealthy way out. It’s time to stay strong, and be supported. It’s not a time to be alone. It’s important for you to give yourself this gift. Treat yourself well. You still have to come out on the other side as a whole person. Support groups can be a great outlet as well. Speaking with others going through a divorce can help you feel a lot less alone. You may even make some wonderful new friends.
- Meditation, Yoga, Massage and Acupuncture:
Yes, I’m writing a prescription for you to relax! It may seem unconventional for a divorce attorney to suggest a spa day, but your overall well-being is an important part of your divorce recovery. Being Zen and having a clearer mind will help you make important legal decisions.
I encourage my clients to keep active, focused and energized. Exercise is helpful too! This is great preparation for a better and brighter future on the other side of divorce.
If you need help with your divorce and you want a professional who can help with not only the head (legal) but also the heart (emotions) of the divorce process, call me.
With the New Year approaching it’s time to take care of the New You.
I would be happy to show you there is more than one way to divorce.
You can divorce with dignity and sanity; I’m just a phone call away… 212.735.1551 :)