To Divorce or Not to Divorce!

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck recently decided to divorce after their two year separation. When a couple’s divorce journey begins, they don’t always know how it will end. For them, it would appear, a legal separation was a healthy vehicle to their divorce. It can be for you too!

When clients come to see me they are often sad, confused and not quite sure what path to take. They often say, “I don’t know what to do, I’m conflicted.” Just the idea of divorce for some is paralyzing. Ending one’s love story is not as easy as you might think. There’s a lot of inner turmoil, fear of the unknown, and often a deep desire to keep the family together.

For those who are not quite ready to plunge into a divorce, and when living apart could be an important first step, I sometimes recommend a physical separation or a postnuptial agreement. A legal separation is a contractually defined and court-honored agreement between a couple who has chosen to live apart but is still legally married.

As one of my family-friendly divorce tools, depending on some of the psychological components of the marriage, I show couples how taking this measure can have constructive benefits as their first step in considering whether or not to divorce.

A legal separation can kickstart some important guidelines towards:

1. Child support;
2. Spousal support;
3. Analysis of monthly expenses;
4. Development of budget;
5. Creating a co-parenting schedule.

For those couples who might want to stay married a legal separation also leaves the door open for reconciliation. My motto is, “whenever a marriage can reasonably be saved without harm, it should be attempted.”

In addition, a legal separation can provide some important benefits:

1. Spending time apart can help clear your head
2. Give you the opportunity to lay out terms of divorce in advance;
3. Getting some guidance from a marriage counselor/therapist;
4. Introduce spending time apart to the children;
5. Maintaining health insurance coverage;
6. Still filing joint Income taxes;

Divorce is not one size fits all. Sometimes divorce is not the final answer and a legal separation can be a helpful vehicle for getting a marriage back on track.

If you need some creative advice on how to approach your divorce leaving you options to reconcile if that’s your wish, call me. I can provide you with the support and tools necessary to start this unpredictable journey. In honor of Mother’s Day for the month of May I am offering a free consultation. If you need my help please take advantage of this offer and call me. 212.734.1551.