What to Do When Your Husband Wants a Divorce!

What to Do When Your Husband Wants a Divorce!

It is not unusual for a wife to hear from her husband that he wants a divorce.

There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision; a midlife crisis; reuniting with an old love on Facebook; financial difficulties; or simply not wanting to be married anymore.

Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped trying and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go. They have become disconnected emotionally and physically.

Almost every person who is contemplating divorce struggles with the question of whether or not divorce is the right decision.

I advise couples to talk about divorce in detail before ending their marriage. Sometimes I suggest marriage counseling as a stepping stone to making that final decision.

Once a couple has this conversation, and has fleshed out all the options, it’s very important to get the proper divorce guidance.

My role as a divorce attorney and mediator is to be a supportive ally in a difficult transition. I can pave the path to productive discussions and decisions amidst a flurry of very high emotions.

I recommend couples:

1. Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what your rights are, and what you are entitled to;
2. Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, more manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming;
3. Don’t rehash the past or obsess on having to know “Why”. Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why” will not make the process any easier. It usually does not change the outcome;
4. Manage your emotions! They will range from tears, to fear, to anger, to wanting revenge. Give yourself permission to feel. It’s okay!;
5. Don’t try to hold on to someone who wants out. You don’t need to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You deserve much better! Acknowledge your worth!;
6. Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax documents, investment statements, W-2’s, property deeds, life insurance policies, pensions, take a look at your expenses and start developing a budget. Get grounded with your finances;
7. BREATHE! This is going to be a challenging process. Reach out to family, and friends for support. Consider seeing a therapist, and don’t be afraid to ask for help :)

If I can help you through this painful process please let me know.

I would be happy to sit down with you and your spouse to explain the magic of mediation. Mediation is a family-friendly approach to divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be adversarial or devisive.

Having served NYC families for over 35 years as a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I can tell you a divorce with dignity and respect is possible and preferred by many couples.

Call me to find out all the details! 212.734.1551 :)