Five Ways to Survive the Holidays During a Divorce
Going through a separation or divorce during the holidays can be really dreadful!
This time of year you are expected to be festive and to behave as if things are good. On the inside you’re feeling anxious, sad and lonely. The holiday season for divorcing couples can be a painful reminder of happier times.
I have some creative suggestions for you. Take that negative energy and use it as fuel for laying productive groundwork towards your divorce process. Funnel your pain into a productive process.
Here are some creative and productive coping mechanisms I like to share with my clients:
- MAKE PLANS:
If you are thinking of or preparing for divorce use the holiday season to target a start date and begin organizing your thoughts and documents to prepare to accomplish your divorce goals. While you are baking cookies and trying to be festive you can also make divorce plans that will help you feel more in control, result-oriented and less stressed. In addition, don’t forget to combine this planning with a scheduled spa time or a mini getaway for a change of scenery.
- CREATE NEW TRADITIONS:
It’s time for you, your children and family members to start making new memories and creating new family traditions. It’s interesting to try new things and these adventures created by each spouse will capture the hearts of your children, and lessen the family pain.
3. ACT IN THE BEST INTEREST OF YOUR CHILDREN:
Make good, solid decisions on your own or with your spouse if you can, so the children are first and foremost. If you can plan to spend the holidays together with the children, do so. If being separate from your spouse is emotionally necessary and the children are going to spend half the time with each of you, make it special so the children feel secure and loved. Invite your children to participate in creating new holiday plans.
- ASK FOR HELP:
If you feel other professionals would be helpful to you and/or your children as you move through divorce and the holidays, reach out. Having a healthy support system can only help during this process. If you are feeling lonely or depressed see a therapist or go to a support group. Children can often benefit from therapy as well. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to explore your options. This may be only a temporary measure.
- LOOK AHEAD WITH OPTIMISM:
I promise it will get better. Eventually, it will hurt less. It’s like grief, if you have experienced it. You will start to see things more clearly as you move through the divorce process. Do your research and select the right attorney, mediator, therapist, and family members for support. Spend time choosing the right partners for your process. Take one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. Try to embrace the holidays to the best of your ability. You deserve happiness too!
If you’re thinking about divorce, let me help you through the holidays. Call me. I can provide a safe, supportive environment and help you gain some valuable insight. I will share some problem-solving techniques to help you deal with anger, anxiety, and sadness while you make important legal decisions.
There is no magic bullet to get rid of the holiday blues while divorcing, but I promise to show you ways to make it a lot easier to cope. Call 212.734.1551.
Warm Holiday Wishes,
Lois