What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “divorce?”
“Fight!” Hire a Lawyer.”
This is the way it’s been ever since the founding of our country, when we
imported the British legal model for divorce – the adversarial system. Now that one in
every two marriages in this country ends in divorce, the devastation caused by the system
has come under question. Is there a better way?
Yes. It’s called “Mediation.” New on the radar for the last few years, it is now
becomingmore widely known. It was previously employed in labor negotiations, but its
use has been expanding to include family law problems.
Here’s how it works: The divorcing couple hires one individual, instead of two
opposing lawyers, to help them resolve their differences. The mediator is an
independent, unbiased individual, trained in mediation (usually a lawyer or a mental
health professional), whose job is to facilitate an agreement on all issues between the
husband and wife. The results are astonishing, and are achieved often in hours and
weeks, instead of months and year. The central truth about divorce today is that it is not
just a legal experience, to is also a psychological experience. In the traditional system
Divorce is a conflict-based, lengthy, and costly process which completely ignores the
important psychological dynamics and behavior of the couple.
As you know abusive relationships are very much in the news today. Many marriages end because one party is abusive, and often the victim is not even aware of the abuse.The old system of divorce encourages people to hurt each other and to fight when it is not absolutely necessary. It is possible for couples to change their automatic behavior and achieve an entirely different outcome.
I developed my unique divorce mediation method during my 35+ years of experience and practice as a divorce attorney, psychologically-trained medical professional, and court-appointed mediator. My divorce mediation n method involves behavior modifications, the use of psychology - identifying personality and character traits, emotions, family dynamics, and applying the law to develop strategies for a more positive experience. This method is less adversarial, less expensive, and less time-consuming than the traditional system. It keeps couples out of court and away from lawyers. Unlike the standard approach, this method takes into consideration the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that affect divorcing couples, and which, if properly identified, can be used to leverage a more successful and calmer outcome.
Unlike the approach of other divorce attorneys my divorce mediation method addresses the pervasive presence of verbal abuse in its many destructive forms:
Criticizing Hiding finances
Blaming Controlling
Threatening Denial
Insulting Withholding
Ignoring Gas lighting
Separating from friends and family Verbal abuse disguised as jokes
My divorce mediation method does not approach Divorce just based on the law, it’s based on psychology too! You get to choose how you want to end your marriage. You can litigate, negotiate or mediate. How you navigate the process depends not only on the law of your state, but largely upon the psychological dynamics of your relationship; theemotions, thoughts, personality traits and behavior of the individuals.
The personality and behavior of both you and your spouse makes a difference—a big difference—in the nature and outcome of your divorce.
Let me help you avoid the traditional horror stories of divorce!
I will work for and with both of you to help you reach a settlement that permits you to
concentrate on the future and the potential it holds.There is a typical process we will use
to reach a settlement; however,your individual needs may cause us to depart from a strict
adherence to it.
During the process we will:
- Develop current and future income information;
- Develop budgets;
- Inventory marriage assets (property);
- Begin to define each of your short – and long-term goals;
- Define general areas of agreement;
- Identify substantive areas of disagreement;
- Identify symbolic and emotional issues;
- Work through the parenting arrangements;
- Negotiate money differences.
If you want to try a highly successful, less expensive, compassionate approach to your divorce call me! I will help you navigate your divorce using the law and psychology to achieve a productive, fair, amicable agreement and a happier future.
Call to schedule your Divorce Mediation Session today! 212.734.1551