As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney I can often spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship even before my clients do. My advice in some cases is to seek therapy, in others I strongly suggest they consider divorce. If you see yourself experiencing some of these warning signs, you need to know there is a way out. I hope this information will help you and give you courage to take the first step!
Warning Signs Are:
- You don’t get to be yourself.
If you are constantly apologizing for who you are, you are not with the right person. Constant criticism of another person wears on the fabric of their self-esteem. Healthy partnership is about building each other up, not breaking each other down.
- Control.
If your partner tries to control everything you do, where you go, how you spend money, who your friends are, monitoring your emails, trolling your social media, this is not love. This is control. Take notice!
- Lies.
If you cannot rely on the truth from your partner, you have a real problem. This might seem somewhat obvious, but it isn’t always. Liars are not to be trusted. You are not in a safe and balanced relationship when your partner is wearing a veil of deceit. You could get hurt.
- Your family and friends don’t like your partner.
If your loved ones don’t like your partner, start listening! If friends and family start to distance themselves because of how uncomfortable they feel around your partner, you are about to become isolated. This isolation lends to your partner having more control. This has all the earmarks of abuse. Pay attention!
- You feel better when your partner is not around.
In a healthy relationship we enjoy the company of our partner. We can’t wait to spend time with them. If you feel better when your partner is at work, or away on business, it’s really time to consider getting out of this very unhealthy relationship.
If you need help taking that first step, call me at 212.734.1551. I will skillfully take you through a process that will make you feel safe and confident. Having an attorney/mediator/advocate can help you move out of a marriage that is not serving you well.