As a divorce attorney, and psychologically trained mediator, I hear all kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect my clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with you is to let you know you are not alone. There are peaceful rational solutions available to you. You really can have a happily-ever-after.
I spoke with Christine who was calling me from inside her bedroom closet three months ago. She explained with COVID 19 and being trapped with her husband at home 24/7 she was desperate to get out of a very toxic marriage. She had been unhappy for a long time and wanted to take the first step in getting a divorce.
Christine’s husband had lost his job due to the pandemic and his abuse toward her had only heightened. Her husband, Kevin, would belittle her, call her fat and remind her daily she was useless. The irony is that she is a quite accomplished gastroenterologist, national speaker and mom of three.
Christine’s biggest dilemma was how to approach her husband. She was clearly afraid to confront him, but determined to move forward. She did share with me that her husband had suffered from depression even before the pandemic.
Kevin had a tragic childhood and suffered from PTSD. He had worked on and off over the years as a fashion photographer. He refused to seek help from a therapist or psychiatrist or take medication. Christine explained there were significant assets, mostly acquired as a result of her career and an inheritance from her family.
She shared with me she didn’t want to hurt Kevin, after all he was the father of her children. She wanted to be generous in their settlement and also wanted him to have liberal visitation with their three children.
I suggested that I write a letter to Kevin introducing mediation as an option to address their marital issues and to process their divorce. Christine agreed this would be a very helpful first step. In my letter to Kevin I explained the mediation process and offered him a free virtual consultation to learn more.
When he received the letter, he wasn’t surprised. He knew that his wife was unhappy in their marriage and that she had been keeping her distance for a long time.
Kevin did call me. He was upset, but reasonable. We had a productive conversation about mediation and some of the issues in the marriage.
As a psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator I have experience with spouses dealing with mental illness. Kevin did mention his depression, spoke of his horrific childhood, and the impact of his depression on his life and marriage.
He at first hesitated, but then agreed the marriage was over, and said he would try mediation.
Their mediation sessions were heated and emotional, but ultimately productive. Christine did agree to a generous settlement. They agreed that she and the children would remain in the marital residence. They also developed a fair parenting and visitation schedule. Both agreed not to speak poorly about the other parent to the children (something he did often).
As part of the settlement, Kevin agreed to go to therapy and take medication to treat his depression so he could feel better and have a healthier relationship with his children.
I was able to provide Kevin with the names of a few psychiatrists/psychologists from my team of experts to interview. He did connect with one of them in particular, and has been successfully working with her since.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as I did with Christine and her family, to find a silver lining, using my powerful divorce mediation method so you can move on with your life peacefully.
During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic all our FREE CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk and maintain safety.
I look forward to hearing your story, and helping you find the best possible solution.
Stay Healthy & Safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
New York divorce attorney Lois Brenner still has some appointments available this week.
Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.
Call 212.734.1551