Are you walking on eggshells? Criticized? Being isolated? Then you may be in an abusive relationship. This is a lot more common than you may think, and there is a way out!
Many spouses who consult with me start telling me their marriage stories of name-calling, being belittled and some even being denied sex, affection, and money. What many of them don’t realize is that they are in a verbally abusive relationship.
They acknowledge that something is wrong, but they can't put their finger on it. As a seasoned psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I can uniquely identify verbal abuse by asking questions and observing emotional and physical reactions.
Verbal abuse is subtle and insidious, and lurks inside many marriages.
In your marriage do you feel:
. threatened
. criticized
. put down by name-calling
. ignored--you receive the silent treatment
. belittled for your accomplishments
. isolated
Are you looking in a mirror right now and seeing yourself? Does this look and feel like you? If it does, you are not alone, and there is help.
Verbal abuse is intended to and usually does manipulate and control the victim.
The abuse often starts after the courtship is over and the marriage has begun. It has a sociopathic, narcissistic overtone to it. It's like putting a frog in cold water and then slowly turning up the heat. By the time it gets too hot, the frog is unable to jump out of the pot.
Verbal abuse is condescending, intimidating, crazy-making, often topped off with gas lighting. The longer the abuse continues, the harder it is to get out.
I have seen some lucky spouses who recognize what is going on early in the game and decide not to put up with it.
Others are captured and held hostage by the abuser and exhibit the Stockholm syndrome, supporting the spouse in their mistreatment.
As a medical professional, I can usually see when someone has been the victim of verbal abuse. I often suggest a comprehensive approach to leaving an abusive marriage beginning with a therapist (from my team of experts) to clients who are amenable.
Frequently it takes a long time for victims to be able to do anything to extricate themselves from an abusive situation.
My unique all-inclusive divorce approach which includes therapy, legal strategy, and emotional support helps spouses to find the strength to take action and to end a psychologically destructive, unhealthy marriage.
If you think you are being controlled with words and feeling uncomfortable with your partner and don't know quite why, call me for a free consultation.
Don’t let fear paralyze you. You need a strong support system of professionals to move you towards a healthier life.
By the way, if you are looking for an excellent book on this subject I often recommend "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. You may want to take a look at it!
With over 35 years experience as an attorney and medically-trained mediator, I have the skills and resources to provide you with the comprehensive support you will need to leave an abusive marriage.
During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic all our FREE ONE HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
Call now to book your free discrete consultation. 212.734.1551
I look forward to working with you, and helping you find your path to a happier life!
Stay healthy and safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York divorce lawyer Lois Brenner today to schedule your free consultation so you can end an abusive marriage.
Call 212.734.1551.