Are you wondering how you are going to survive financially if divorce comes knocking at your door?
I received a phone call over the weekend from a devastated spouse who said, “I can’t believe it, I have been married, I thought happily for 12 years, and today my spouse said, “I want a divorce. I’m not happy and I have found someone else. My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I didn’t see this coming and I don’t know what to do.” The main concern was that he had stayed home to raise 3 children, had supported the efforts of his spouse who had achieved great success in the entertainment business, and now feared what lay ahead for himself and the children financially.
These days there are still some spouses who give up careers to stay at home to raise the children. They often spend most of their marriage helping to support, and in some cases to build, their spouses’ careers/businesses in the best interest of the family.
But, if at some point you or your spouse want out of the marriage will you be prepared? Will you be able to survive financially?
The answer is Yes! But I strongly suggest you always keep your finger on the financial pulse of your marriage and family. Don’t be in the dark. Don’t leave all the financial decisions to your spouse. Insist on being a partner in all the financial decisions and know where all the money is invested. Look at all bills, statements, payments etc. Don’t forget about yourself along the way, keep your skills sharp and don’t forget to stay present in your marriage. And save some money yourself!
Here are my 6 Divorce Tips for Stay-at-Home Spouses:
1. Make a plan before you move forward with a divorce. Sometimes you won’t have that luxury especially if your spouse walks through the door and says, “I want a divorce.” So be prepared. Review your skills, finances and evaluate your ability to support yourself financially;
2. If you find yourself falling behind on taking care of yourself and your skills you may want to take some courses or become certified in a particular profession;
3. If you have skills and can return to work, update your resume and explore what opportunities exist. Start networking with friends already in the work force;
4. If you don’t have some separate assets consider having a separate bank account, set one up and start saving some money. You will need money for a retainer for an attorney or mediator if divorce does rear its ugly head;
5. Review all your expenses. Make a budget. What are you spending now? What will you be able to spend after the divorce for your own household? Know how much you will need to survive. Start implementing changes to cut back on expenses and put some money in a savings account for yourself.
6. Visualize the Life You Want! Life will change after divorce. Some things will be better, others more challenging. Think about where you want to live, what type of career you will embark on, and how you will be prepared financially to handle all of these changes.
It’s important to remember, child support and spousal support (if you are entitled to them) do not last forever. The sooner you can stand on your own two feet, the better you will feel.
I want you to feel encouraged and empowered by “being prepared” if divorce should occur in your marriage.
If you are thinking about divorce or your spouse has just told you they want a divorce, call me, I will help you prepare emotionally and financially for the next steps.
As a divorce attorney and medically-trained mediator I have been successfully guiding divorcing families using compassion, keen legal strategy and unique psychological insight for over 35 years.
Call my office and take advantage of a free consultation today!
I am just a phone call away. 212.734.1551
Warm wishes,
Lois