As we approach the holidays, and work our way towards a “new normal” during this uncertain time of COVID-19, many unhappy spouses are calling me to take proactive steps towards divorce.
For couples who have never traveled this road before, it can be scary. When it comes to divorce, the legal system by its very nature pits people against each other with the promise of only one winner and with no room for compromise.
As a skilled, psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I say, “If you were once in love, able to organize your lives and build a life together, you should be able to discuss and organize your lives to dissolve your marriage and to live apart.”
I often tell couples, with mediation everyone is a winner. Mediation offers a less painful way to approach divorce. Mediation is a different way of viewing divorce, and I like to recommend mediation to clients as the peaceful path to divorce.
So whatis mediation?
Mediation is process of negotiating an agreement between divorcing spouses on the important issues: children, finances and property. The divorce mediator is there to keep you on track, make sure negotiations are productive and to make suggestions when you hit a road block. The focus of mediation is your controlling your own divorce. Not judges and not attorneys. Couples have the opportunity to discuss their personal needs and priorities and to arrive at a mutually acceptable agreement.
When couples meet with me virtually these days, they have a strong tendency to talk about their grievances during the marriage – what happened in the past. There is plenty of blame and name-calling to go around. What I know as a divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years, is that talking about the past does not result in an agreement. In fact, it often prevents agreement.
Part of my role is to direct the couple to talk about what they want for the future. This feels sort of strange to the couple who is used to arguing about past behavior. In my process as mediator, I will summarize, emphasizing useful information and ignoring irrelevant and emotional comments. Another technique I use is “normalizing,” where I will reassure a couple their problems are not unique, and that other people have struggled with the same issues before and have successfully resolved them.
I advise my mediation couples that they can each consult a divorce lawyer at any time. This knowledge can be reassuring to a timid spouse who feels he or she will be bowled over by a demanding partner.
Another appealing aspect of the mediation process is time and cost. Most divorce mediation cases can be resolved in weeks or months instead of years, and can cost tens of thousands of dollars less than fighting your case in court.
Mediation, the less adversarial approach, to divorce will keep more money in your pocket, give you peace of mind and allow you keep your dignity in the process.
When couples are considering divorce, I try to introduce the more peaceful approach first. Even when couples are angry, I have found mediation to be a process that can work. Not all divorces can be resolved using mediation but the ones that can, should.
There is no easy path to divorce but divorce mediation is a less painful road to travel and should be embraced as the peaceful alternative!
Working with me, your mediation process will be postitive, productive and peaceful!
Why don’t you give mediation a try?
I am offering Free 1 hour consultations and still have a few available for this week. Why not call me to learn more…
During the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic all our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conveniently
conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to sharing all the impressive benefits of mediation with you!
Stay healthy and stay safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to book your Free 1 Hour Consultation.
212.734.1551