When a divorce occurs it not only affects the spouses but the entire family. For both parents and children during and after a divorce, maintaining healthy relationships with your children is a must. Visitation, unfortunately, is very often a sad source of conflict.
As a psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years, I always tell spouses to put their children first. I tell them not to funnel their anger for their spouse through their child. It’s destructive and unfair. It is their job as a parent to make visitation with the other parent seamless in order to help their child through a difficult transition. The first step is for both parents to accept and acknowledge their children will have two homes. Each place should be as safe and comfortable as possible.
Here are more tips for smooth visitations:
- Treat your former spouse with respect, especially in front of your children;
- Create routines that provide them with safety and security;
- Be understanding and flexible with your visitation schedules;
- Maintain open lines of communication with your ex-spouse;
- Parents should discuss rules and discipline with each other so you can both be consistent;
- Make sure your child has a special space of their own within your home;
- Spend individual time with each of your children;
- Encourage visitation with grandparents and former family members;
- Help your children make friends in your neighborhood so they have a full, happy experience;
- Make visitation a normal and fun part of life!
It’s really important to put your feelings of anger aside for the sake of your child.
I know it’s difficult, but it is necessary for the happiness of your child. Divorce hurts and saddens children. Don’t add to that pain by acting out against your former spouse. You are the adult. It’s time to act like one!
It’s a good idea to be supportive of your children as they prepare for their visit with the other parent. Children need to know it’s okay to love mom & dad! Please don’t misbehave during the exchange. That only sets the tone for sadness during a visit.
Try to be on time. Let your former spouse know if you are running late. Give ample notice if a visitation date or time needs to change. Keep your former spouse in the loop about happenings at school and all medical updates.
Keep each other aware of changes in phone numbers, email addresses, and home and work addresses.
All of these visitation tips help your child have a supportive relationship with both parents. The best way to support your child during and after a divorce is with love and encouragement. Show them they can love you both. This will be the very best gift your can give your child during and after your divorce!
There is no easy path to divorce or visitation with your children but there are some effective solutions.
As a psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I can help. If you are thinking of divorce or having difficulty with child custody or visitation, call me. I can also share with you the magic of my mediation methods that are very effective in handling issues with custody and visitation.
All our FREE I HOUR CONSULTATIONS are discreetly and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to sharing all the impressive benefits of mediation with you!
Stay healthy and safe!!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to book your Free 1 Hour Consultation and let her help you with child custody and visitation issues today!
Call 212.734.1551 right now!