"Gray Divorces" Are on the Rise!

The divorce rate overall has been declining for the past 40 years except for individuals over 50. “Gray Divorces” are actually on the rise!

It’s not surprising that Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced they were getting divorced after 27 years. The question is not why they are getting divorced, but why are so many couples over the age of 50 in longtime marriages getting divorced?

Well, the pandemic and isolation has made many couples look more closely at some of the issues that have been eating away at their long-time marriages. The stigma of divorce has certainly changed since the 50s and 60s. Women have risen in the workforce and are in stronger positions financially. For others the kids are grown, and staying together for the sake of the children is no longer a necessity. For still others, it is thinking about life expectancy and people living much longer, wondering if they really want to spend a lifetime in a miserable marriage.

So what is a “Gray Divorce?”

A Gray Divorce refers to a demographic trend that has seen an increase in the separation or divorce of older couples who have been married for a long time.

As a New York divorce attorney and mediator, I see older couples with long marriages divorcing more often these days. The pandemic has added more stress to these already strained marriages.

Sarah reached out to me early on in the pandemic. She had been a homemaker for 25 years, raising three children, and now for the last 5 years she was working from home providing nutrition and Pilates classes online. She had created quite a following on Tik Toc and was doing very well financially. Her husband was a trusts and estates attorney, earning a high six-figure salary.

When Sarah called me she said she had come to realize during the pandemic that this marriage was not working for her anymore. She was not sleeping in the same bed with her husband, and there was no love or affection. He had his own life and she had her own life. She explained to me living this way wasn’t enough for her, and she felt she deserved better! Sarah wanted to feel loved, cared for, and excited to be alive. She did discuss these feelings with her husband numerous times, asked him to attend a therapy session, but he wasn’t interested and seemed to be content.

She called to ask me about mediation and after our consultation, she discussed mediation with her husband. He agreed to participate in the mediation process and they were able to successfully agree on how they would proceed with their divorce.

The couple had hundreds of thousands of dollars in assets, including securities accounts and real estate. Since this was a long marriage, they agreed assets and pensions would be divided fairly and Sarah was able to remain in the family home.

Since the children were over 21, the couple did not have to deal with child support or custody in their agreement. They made amicable visitation arrangements so they could both spend time with their 11-year-old family dog, a labradoodle named Carley.

It takes sophisticated legal advice to plan a late-life divorce. As a seasoned divorce attorney for over 35 years and mediator with psychological training, I have the unique skills necessary to guide you through this type of divorce.

Sometimes I engage the assistance of my litigation partner and a team of experts which consists of trust and estate attorneys, accountants, tax lawyers and financial advisors, to make sure all issues are thoroughly addressed.

If you are thinking of divorce, call me, I can help you!

Don’t stay in a long-term unhappy, unhealthy marriage that’s just dragging on and on…
Life is short and meant to be lived happily!

All our Free One-Hour Consultations are informative and conveniently conducted virtually to continue to reduce risk.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Stay healthy and safe!

Warm regards,
Lois

Call New York Attorney Lois Brenner Now to help you with your “Gray Divorce”!
Schedule your FREE consultation now!
Call 212.734.1551.