I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human.
In order to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s best if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind. A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Conquering and choosing change can be empowering!
A new beginning for some of us might be starting a new business, getting married for the first time, having a child, or buying a first home.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving a miserable marriage after many years, or deciding to end an unhealthy codependent relationship. While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
When considering divorce and totally changing your life, you need to know divorce doesn’t have to be all out warfare. You can divorce with dignity using my unique divorce mediation teamwork process.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your control. Change that is not within your control really requires strength and resilience. This type of change is often harder to handle emotionally because you are not in charge. Someone, or something else has created change in your life. This might happen due to a divorce, disaster, illness or death. This kind of change stirs up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.
I’ve been hearing from many spouses who have been sad and struggling over the last 2 years who are tired of being in unhappy, broken marriages. They want change, and after living through this pandemic, they have decided life is too short to stay in a miserable marriage.
A client recently said to me, “I’m still vibrant, healthy and alive, I have a lot of life left and I don’t deserve to be cheated on!” I’m out!! However, once she made this decision, the next part was a challenge. She asked me, as many spouses do these days, during our free one hour consultation, “How do I tell him this marriage is over?” I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to hurt my children, I just want an amicable divorce.
Due to my psychological training, and over 35 years’ experience as a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer emotionally tempered suggestions to spouses on how to handle this difficult conversation.
Sometimes, I am actually part of that process, especially when my effective divorce mediation method is being used.
Big life transitions like divorce are powerful times in our lives. We are invited to release what is outgrown in our lives and allow space for new life to flow in. I know it’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your life is starting in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending is a new beginning.
Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and ourselves. It is often a time to flourish in ways you might never have considered. Change can be a wonderful unexpected opportunity. My advice, “reach out and take it!”
If you want to make a change in your life, and you are thinking of divorce, and you want a divorce with dignity, take this first step. Remember, starting over requires confidence, courage and determination.
If you need help with making this change, call me. I can also coach you on how to productively approach your spouse with the difficult conversation about divorce. It can be a lot easier than you think. I will be happy to share with you some of my truly successful techniques.
All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations are discreetly and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk!
I look forward to speaking with you!
Stay healthy and safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to learn how your divorce can be dignified, less painful, and less expensive using the powerful process of mediation!
Schedule your free consultation today! 212.734.1551