A postnuptial agreement, also known as a postnup, is a legal contract between spouses that outlines the division of assets and liabilities in the event of divorce or separation.
While prenuptial agreements are typically signed before the marriage, postnuptial agreements are signed after the couple has already tied the knot.
Although postnuptial agreements are often associated with divorce, they can also be a great tool to strengthen and sometimes even save a marriage.
By setting clear expectations and boundaries, a postnuptial agreement can help to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts that could lead to divorce.
As a psychologically trained family law attorney/mediator and postnuptial agreement specialist, I have drafted thousands of postnuptial agreements over the last 35 years.
Below are some of the areas to consider when drafting a postnuptial agreement when you want to save your marriage!
Addressing Financial Issues
One of the most common reasons for marital discord is financial problems. Money can be a significant source of stress and tension in a relationship, particularly if one spouse earns significantly more than the other or if there are differences in how each partner wants to spend or save money.
A postnuptial agreement can help to alleviate some of these concerns by outlining the financial responsibilities of each spouse. For example, the agreement might specify that each spouse is responsible for their own debts, or that certain assets, such as a business or inheritance, will remain separate property. By setting these expectations in advance, couples can avoid misunderstandings and disputes that might otherwise lead to divorce.
Clarifying Expectations
A postnuptial agreement might outline each spouse's responsibilities for household chores or child-rearing duties. It could also specify how decisions will be made regarding major life events, such as relocation or career changes.
By setting these expectations in writing, couples can avoid misunderstandings and disagreements that might otherwise lead to resentment and conflict.
When both partners understand their roles and responsibilities, they are more likely to work together and support each other, which can strengthen the marriage.
Addressing Infidelity
While a postnuptial agreement cannot prevent infidelity, it can provide a framework for how the couple will handle it if it occurs.
For example, the agreement might specify that if one spouse cheats, they will forfeit their rights to certain assets or agree to a higher level of financial support for the other spouse. By setting these consequences in advance, couples can discourage infidelity and provide a clear path for moving forward if it does occur.
Preventing a Power Imbalance
A power imbalance in a relationship can be a significant source of stress and tension. For example, if one spouse earns significantly more than the other or if one partner has more control over important decisions, it can create feelings of resentment and frustration.
A postnuptial agreement can help to prevent a power imbalance by outlining each spouse's rights and responsibilities. For example, the agreement might specify that both partners have an equal say in major financial decisions or that both partners are entitled to a certain level of support in the event of divorce. By establishing these guidelines in advance, couples can avoid power struggles and build a stronger, more equal relationship.
Providing Peace of Mind
By knowing that their assets and liabilities are protected and that their expectations are clear, couples can relax and enjoy their relationship without worrying about what might happen in the event of divorce.
This peace of mind can be particularly valuable for couples who have already experienced marital problems. By signing a postnuptial agreement, they can address their concerns and fears head-on, which can help to rebuild trust and strengthen the marriage.
I’d like to share with you a prenup story with a happy ending!
I received a call from a spouse about 8 months ago who was distraught and looking for help. He told me his wife had been addicted to shopping for a few years early in their marriage but had eventually gotten a handle on her spending. He recently figured out she was overspending again after seeing credit card bills for many, many thousands of dollars. He told me he couldn’t go through the overspending again and was reluctantly thinking of getting a divorce.
He told me he still loved his wife and didn’t really want to leave her but couldn’t see any other way. He told me she knew how disappointed he was and begged him not to divorce her. She promised she would help pay off the enormous credit card debts and go to therapy.
Since he still loved her, I suggested they consider a postnuptial agreement which would outline consequences if his wife continued spending and didn’t get help. I further explained the postnuptial agreement would provide them with a road map if the divorce eventually occurred.
I recommended a wonderful therapist on my team adept at treating this type of issue.
They decided to try the postnuptial agreement, and so far, so good.
Only you truly know about your marriage. The two of you are in the best position to decide when divorce is right for you. But if your love prevails and saving your marriage is a priority, a postnuptial agreement may be a great alternative to divorce. This is the perfect vehicle to give your marriage another chance!
Call me to schedule a free consultation so we can determine together if a postnuptial agreement is a viable option to help your marriage.
As a highly experienced, psychologically trained family law attorney and mediator with over 35 years of experience, I can give you the guidance you need!
All our FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually!
I look forward to speaking with you.
Warm regards,
Lois
Looking to save your marriage, call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner, a postnuptial agreement specialist, right now!
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