As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I hear all kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect the identity of my clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with you is to let you know you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational solutions available to you. You really can have a happily-ever-after.
Ariel and Michael were married for 8 years. They had 2 children, ages 6 and 4. They were both professionals. He is a real estate developer, she is a pharmaceutical rep. They live in a large multimillion dollar home in Westchester.
When I received a phone call from Ariel on a Saturday night, she was angry and confused. She left a voice message saying she was shocked to find out that her husband was cheating on her. She never saw this coming, and he wasn’t even trying to deny it. She was devastated and wanted to know what to do.
During our phone consultation the next day, she told me that their marriage had been suffering for a long time. Her husband was distant, never at home, and spent no time with their children. She had just learned he was having an affair with one of his real estate clients. She found out because she saw some suggestive emails between them. When she confronted him, he did not deny it and said he wasn’t happy.
Ariel told me she was not going to stay in her marriage and wanted a divorce. She also wanted revenge. She was very angry and wanted to keep his children from him.
I calmed her down and acknowledged her pain but explained revenge was not necessarily the best approach. I told her that keeping his children from him would only hurt her children and there were better ways to address all the issues in the marriage.
I suggested she consider mediation as an amicable approach to her divorce so they could keep things civil and the family could make healthy choices while keeping their legal expenses down.
She agreed, and I offered to speak with her husband to explain how mediation works. We reached out to her husband by email and he agreed to speak with me. When I spoke with him, it became clear to me he wanted out of the marriage. He admitted he fell in love with someone else and was not happy in the marriage. He also agreed he wanted to do the right thing and provide for his family.
I answered lots of his questions about mediation. He agreed mediation would be an acceptable route for them to take since going to court would not be a good option for them as a family.
Ariel and Michael started their mediation sessions soon after, but things did not go smoothly. Ariel was very angry that Michael had cheated, and she was having a lot of trouble managing her emotions. I actually introduced her to one of the therapists on my team to help her with her sadness and anger. This support helped her tremendously as we continued the mediation journey.
During our mediation sessions, I had to skillfully redirect Ariel’s anger and insist reliving his cheating was not productive in this process.
Ariel and Michael had a few difficult and spirited conversations during our mediation sessions but eventually, with my help, they were able to have really productive conversations. Ultimately, they were able to make important decisions about their finances, property, custody, and support.
Michael stayed true to what he had said to me in his initial consultation and was generous with his family.
Their mediation has concluded now, and they have embraced their separate lives. Ariel is still working with the therapist from my team and addressing the grief she is feeling from the loss of her marriage. She mentioned that she is looking forward to trying to date in the future but is not ready yet.
Michael has moved on with his relationship with his real estate client and hopes to marry next year.
The children are adjusting to mom and dad living separately and are enjoying spending time at their dad’s new condo.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation, and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive focus of my psychologically based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as I did with Ariel and her family, to find a silver lining using my powerful divorce mediation method.
All our FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story and helping you find the best possible solution whether it be mediation, negotiation or litigation.
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation. 212.734.1551