As much as we wish to believe that our significant other would never cheat on us, infidelity unfortunately happens in many relationships. It can be devastating to discover that your spouse has been unfaithful, but it's important to be aware of the signs that may indicate that something is amiss in your relationship.
Do you lie awake at night and wonder? Do you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach most of the time? You know something is not quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it. Do you think your spouse is cheating? Are you afraid to ask? Do you think you need proof?
I say, pay attention to those little voices and your spouse’s texts, phone calls and emails. Your instinct could be right!
In my divorce/mediation practice of over 35 years, I have seen cheating spouses more than I’d like to admit.
I find intuition is often one of the best indicators that something is wrong. Further investigation is probably necessary. Once you have reviewed all the behavior changes and collected some data, think about doing some investigative work by hiring a professional to look further. Be calm, strong and honest with yourself. Be prepared for any outcome. Remember, if your spouse is cheating, also be prepared for lots of lies!
Don’t bury your head in the sand, if the signs are there, take notice. You’re probably right. Don’t ignore your suspicions.
Here are 7 telltale signs your spouse may be cheating on you.
1. Increased secrecy: If your spouse is suddenly guarding their phone or computer, hiding their screen or keeping their passwords a secret, this may be a sign that they are communicating with someone they don't want you to know about.
2. Changes in routine: If your spouse starts coming home late from work, leaving for work earlier than usual, or spending more time away from home, it may be a sign that they are using that time to be with someone else. Lack of intimacy: If your spouse suddenly loses interest in being intimate with you or is avoiding physical contact, it may be a sign that they are getting their needs met elsewhere.
3. Unexplained expenses: If you notice that your spouse is suddenly spending more money than usual, or if there are unexplained charges on their credit card or bank statements, it may be a sign that they are trying to hide the cost of an affair.
4. Defensive behavior: If your spouse becomes defensive or angry when you ask them about their behavior or whereabouts, it may be a sign that they are trying to hide something.
Emotional distance: If your spouse seems emotionally distant or disconnected from you, it may be a sign that they are focusing their emotional energy on someone else.
5. Lack of eye contact: If your spouse avoids eye contact with you or seems uncomfortable when you look them in the eye, it may be a sign that they are feeling guilty about something.
6. Sudden interest in appearance: If your spouse suddenly starts paying more attention to their appearance, buying new clothes, or wearing more makeup than usual, it may be a sign that they are trying to impress someone else.
Increased criticism: If your spouse suddenly starts criticizing you more often or seems to be picking fights with you for no reason, it may be a sign that they are trying to justify their behavior.
7. Gut feeling: Finally, if you have a gut feeling that something is off in your relationship, it's important to trust your intuition. While it's not always accurate, it's important to pay attention to your instincts and investigate further if you have a feeling that your spouse may be cheating.
If you find yourself experiencing some of these things, you are also coming up with excuses for this behavior. That’s being human. It’s hard to admit to oneself that your partner may be dishonest with you.
For some, saving a marriage is possible. Although trust has been broken and betrayal is painful, some marriages can survive. From what I have seen when a marriage does survive it is because the couple has a strong foundation based on friendship and love. I applaud these couples for their strength to recover.
For others, clearly the marriage is over. Now you have to start the painful journey of divorce. But divorce doesn’t always have to be adversarial. Divorce can be dignified. I encourage all of my couples to consider mediation.
Years ago I developed a dignified divorce mediation process to address divorce positively. This method keeps a couple on track, promotes constructive discussion, provides emotional support, lends a voice of reason to conversations, and concludes in a fair settlement agreement. My unique process takes less time, costs less money and is less painful.
If you are experiencing any, or all of the above, please call me to go over your case, and to discuss your concerns.
If you are moving towards divorce due to infidelity, I can help you navigate the process with strong psychological support and fair, strategic legal planning to keep your life intact and to help get you and your family the best possible results.
As a psychologically trained and experienced divorce attorney and mediator with a successful track record of over 35 years, I can help you!
Call to schedule your free consultation today!
I look forward to speaking with you!
Warm regards,
Lois
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