As a divorce attorney and mediator, I receive calls from couples of young children asking various questions about custody.
Often, these parents have little idea that “custody” to which they’re referring is actually a question of the right to make decisions. In fact, many divorcing parents confuse visitation with custody and as such, it puts the fabric of their relationships in a precarious situation.
To that end, I want to dispel a few myths that surround child custody and visitation.
Custody is not defined as the primary residence of the children. Custody is the right to make decisions, including: What school the children will attend, the children’s primary care physician, the religion of the children, and attendance at sleep away summer camp. Custody can be retained by one or both parents.
Child custody can be one of the most contentious issues in a divorce, as it affects not only the parents but also the children involved.
When going through a divorce, it’s important to understand the reasons why you deserve custody of your children.
- Best Interests of the Child: The court always considers the best interests of the child when determining custody. If you can prove that you are the parent who can provide the best care, stability, and emotional support for your children, you have a strong case for custody;
- Parental Relationships: The bond and emotional ties between you and your children are crucial factors in the court’s decision. If you have a strong, positive relationship with your children, this can greatly increase your chances of receiving custody;
- Ability to Provide a Stable Home: The court considers the parent’s ability to provide a safe and stable home for the child. If you can prove that you have a stable living environment, with a secure job and income, you are in a strong position to receive custody;
- Ability to Meet the Child’s Needs: The court will consider the parent’s ability to meet the child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs. If you can show that you are committed to meeting all of your child’s needs, this can help to build a strong case for custody;
- Ability to Co-Parent: The court will consider the parent’s ability to work with the other parent in making decisions and raising the child. If you have a history of being able to work effectively with the other parent, this can help to build a strong case for custody;
- Mental and Physical Health: The court considers the mental and physical health of both parents and its impact on the child. If you can show that you are in good mental and physical health, this can help to build a strong case for custody;
- Domestic Violence or Abuse: If there is a history of domestic violence or child abuse, the court may limit or restrict the abusive parent’s custody rights. If you can prove that you have never been involved in any form of domestic violence or child abuse, this can help to build a strong case for custody;
- Substance Abuse: If either parent has a history of substance abuse, the court may consider this when making custody decisions. If you can demonstrate that you have never been involved in substance abuse, this can help to build a strong case for custody;
- Wishes of the Child: The court may consider the child’s own preferences and opinions, depending on their age and maturity level. If you can show that your children want to live with you, this can be a strong argument for custody.
As an alternative to court, mediators are often much better equipped to help divorcing parents make custody decisions.
I very often encourage my clients to consider mediation to work out their custody issues. It’s a better vehicle for all involved. There is no reason to add any more pain to the division of a family.
As a psychologically-trained family law attorney and mediator, I use psychology and legal skills to help parents come to agreements that are in the best interests of everyone—without spending tens of thousands of dollars. As a mediator, I can also help divorcing parents make decisions without all of the hurtful emotion behind it.
When it comes to child custody in a divorce, there are many factors to consider. By understanding and presenting the reasons why you deserve custody, you can increase your chances of being awarded custody of your children.
Need help with custody? Call me. Mediation may just be the answer to your problems.
Why don’t you give mediation a try to solve your custody issues? I’m a phone call away…
I am offering a free consultation. Why not join me to learn more…
I look forward to answering all your custody questions and sharing all the impressive benefits of mediation with you!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to ask all your child custody questions!
212.734.1551