As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years, I have championed mediation as an excellent alternative to litigation. However, there are many myths and misconceptions that surround the mediation process.
So let’s take a look at the most common myths about divorce mediation.
Myth 1: Mediation Is Only for Amicable Couples
Reality: Mediation is suitable for couples in a wide range of situations, not just those who are on good terms. In fact, in my mediation practice many couples who start with high conflict find that my guidance and psychologically based mediation process helps reduce tension and leads to productive discussions. As a skilled mediator I’m trained to manage challenging emotions and communication issues, helping both parties reach a fair agreement.
Myth 2: Mediators Make Decisions for You
Reality: As a mediator, I do not decide outcomes or impose solutions. My role as a mediator is to facilitate discussions and help both parties explore options and negotiate. In mediation, you and your spouse control the decisions, guided by my expertise as the mediator. My job is to remain neutral, ensuring each party’s voice is heard and respected.
Myth 3: Mediation Means Compromise and Sacrifice
Reality: While mediation involves negotiation, it’s not just about compromising or “giving in.” The goal of mediation is to create a solution that both parties can accept, prioritizing mutual interests and needs. Many couples find that mediation allows them to achieve more favorable outcomes than a judge might decide in a courtroom.
Myth 4: Mediation Can’t Address Complex Financial Situations
Reality: Divorce mediation can handle complex financial situations, from division of high-value assets to complicated business interests. As part of my mediation process, I often collaborate with financial professionals and experts who can provide insights and help address complex financial matters effectively.
Myth 5: Mediation Isn’t Legally Binding
Reality: Once you and your spouse reach an agreement in mediation, it is put into writing and becomes a legally binding document. Under mediation this document is an enforceable contract.
Myth 6: Mediation Is a Long, Drawn-Out Process
Reality: Mediation can be much faster than going through traditional litigation. While the timeline varies, mediation generally takes less time because both parties actively work toward reaching an agreement without needing to wait for court dates. In my mediation process, many couples resolve issues in just a few sessions; and some might take longer, depending on the complexity.
Myth 7: Mediators Are Just Lawyers in Another Form
Reality: While some mediators are also attorneys, like me, mediation is not the same as legal representation. Mediators do not advocate for one side over the other; their role as a mediator is to remain neutral and help facilitate productive discussions. You may still choose to consult with an attorney for legal advice while working with me as a mediator.
Myth 8: Mediation Is Too Expensive
Reality: In most cases, mediation is far more affordable than litigation. Mediation fees are often lower than attorney fees, and since the process is usually quicker, the overall cost is often significantly less. Many couples find mediation to be the most cost-effective way to resolve divorce issues.
Myth 9: Mediation Is Only for Child Custody and Visitation Issues
Reality: While mediation is highly beneficial for resolving custody and parenting plans, it also covers financial matters, asset division, spousal support, and more. Mediation can handle every aspect of a divorce, creating a comprehensive settlement agreement tailored to your unique situation.
Myth 10: Mediation Doesn't Work for High-Conflict Situations
Reality: Mediation can be an effective solution for high-conflict situations as well. With the help of a skilled mediator, like me, even couples facing intense conflict can often work toward an agreement. As mediators, we are trained in conflict resolution techniques that help keep discussions productive, ensuring that both parties feel heard and respected.
As a divorce attorney and mediator, I can tell you that mediation isn’t the right fit for every couple, but for many, it’s a valuable alternative to a lengthy, contentious and costly court battle.
Mediation offers a peaceful, non-adversarial path toward a fair, mutually agreeable outcome often with less stress, cost, and time than traditional litigation.
By understanding the realities of mediation, you can make an informed choice about whether it’s the best approach for your divorce.
If you're considering mediation, it’s worth speaking with me to discuss your situation and see if this option aligns with your goals and needs.
Call me now to schedule your free consultation 212.734.1551!
I look forward to discussing mediation with you.
Warm wishes,
Lois