Marriage is a beautiful union, but it's not without its challenges. As couples navigate the complexities of life together, unexpected circumstances or changing dynamics can strain even the strongest relationships.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I often suggest using a postnuptial agreement as a productive tool to get a marriage back on track and in some cases to save a marriage.
A postnuptial agreement can foster communication, build trust, and create a sense of financial and emotional security. The agreement can be seen as a way to reinforce the partnership and ensure both partners’ needs and concerns are addressed in a constructive manner.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years, I have developed a strategic and effective use for postnuptial agreements.
When a couple is unhappy, but not quite ready for a separation or divorce, I often suggest they use a postnuptial agreement to save a marriage.
When crafting a postnuptial agreement for the purpose of saving a marriage or eventually ending a marriage, I suggest we look at the following:
1. Clarifying Financial Expectations
- Transparency: One of the leading causes of marital stress is financial disagreements. A postnup outlines clear financial expectations, including how assets and debts will be managed moving forward. This transparency can prevent misunderstandings and reduce arguments about money.
- Debt Protection: If one partner has significant debt or risky financial habits, the agreement can protect the other spouse’s assets, reducing anxiety around potential financial ruin.
2. Rebuilding Trust
- After Infidelity: If a marriage has suffered due to infidelity, a postnuptial agreement can serve as part of the healing process. It can provide financial security to the wronged partner while giving the couple a chance to rebuild trust. Some may include clauses about financial consequences if infidelity recurs.
- Demonstrating Commitment: A postnup can show both partners are serious about the relationship and want to protect each other. By outlining expectations, it demonstrates that both are willing to invest in the marriage’s future.
3. Addressing Changes in Circumstances
- Life Changes: Major life events, such as starting a business, receiving an inheritance, or having children, can shift the dynamic of a marriage. A postnup can help adjust the terms of the partnership to reflect these changes, providing peace of mind and preventing future conflicts.
- Second Marriages or Blended Families: If one or both partners have children from previous relationships, a postnuptial agreement can ensure their assets are protected and clarify how inheritance will be handled, reducing tension among family members.
4. Resolving Disputes
- Structured Conflict Resolution: By addressing sensitive topics such as alimony, spousal support, or property division upfront, a postnuptial agreement can prevent future disputes. Knowing these issues are already resolved can allow the couple to focus on the emotional aspects of their relationship instead of legal concerns.
- Neutral Mediation: The process of creating a postnup often involves mediation or legal counsel, which can provide a neutral ground for discussing underlying issues in the marriage. This can open communication and lead to a more cooperative relationship.
5. Providing a Safety Net
- Emotional Security: Knowing there’s a plan in place for worst-case scenarios can reduce anxiety and help couples focus on improving their relationship. If partners are worried about what might happen in a divorce, having a postnup can relieve those fears, allowing them to feel more secure in their marriage.
- Encouraging Commitment: Paradoxically, addressing the potential end of a marriage can lead to a deeper commitment. By acknowledging the realities of separation but taking steps to protect one another, couples often feel more stable and secure in their relationship.
6. Improving Communication
- Honest Conversations: Creating a postnuptial agreement requires couples to have honest discussions about their financial situation, goals, and future plans. This communication process can deepen their connection and help resolve any ongoing issues.
- Balancing Power Dynamics: If there’s an imbalance in financial power or responsibility, a postnuptial agreement can help correct that imbalance. This can reduce resentment or frustration, making the marriage more equitable.
My role as a divorce attorney/mediator is not always to help end a marriage, but on many occasions to help save a marriage too. A marriage should be saved whenever reasonably possible!
To learn more about postnuptial agreements and how they may save your marriage, call me.
Over the last 35 years, I have crafted hundreds of postnuptial agreements designed to save marriages.
A postnuptial agreement is a unique tool to satisfy/soothe issues currently impacting the marriage and to help keep the marriage on track. It is also a really smart preparation tool if the marriage fails, and a divorce follows.
Schedule your free consultation today! Let’s talk!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to learn more about postnuptial agreements! Schedule your free consultation right now! Call 212.734.1551.