The divorce process can feel overwhelming, emotionally taxing, and financially draining.
As a medically trained divorce attorney/mediator for over 35 years, I introduce spouses to the best solutions for tackling their divorce. Helping spouses understand how divorce works and discussing alternatives with them like mediation can make a significant difference in navigating this challenging transition.
So let’s discuss the divorce process.
While every divorce is unique, the process generally follows these key steps:
1. Filing for Divorce
The first step is filing a petition for divorce with the court. This document, known as a "complaint" or "petition for dissolution of marriage," states the reasons for the divorce and any initial requests regarding child custody, property division, or support. The petition must then be served to the other spouse.
2. Response from the Other Spouse
After receiving the divorce papers, the other spouse has a set period (usually 20-30 days) to respond. They may agree, contest certain aspects, or counter-file with their own requests.
3. Temporary Orders (If Necessary)
If urgent matters like child custody, financial support, or living arrangements need immediate attention, either party can request temporary court orders until the divorce is finalized.
4. Discovery and Negotiation
During this stage, both parties exchange financial documents, income statements, and other relevant information. This helps determine asset division, spousal support, and child support. Couples may try to negotiate settlements on their own, with attorneys, or through mediation.
5. Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution
Before proceeding to court, many states encourage or require mediation to resolve disputes amicably. A neutral mediator helps facilitate discussions and agreements without the need for a trial.
6. Finalizing the Divorce
If an agreement is reached, the court reviews and approves the settlement. If disputes remain, the case may proceed to trial. Once the judge issues a final divorce decree, the marriage is legally dissolved.
How Mediation Works and How It Can Help
Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution method where a neutral third party helps spouses reach agreements on critical issues. It is a collaborative approach that focuses on communication and compromise.
How Mediation Works
- Choosing a Mediator – Both spouses agree on a qualified mediator, often a lawyer, therapist, or professional trained in conflict resolution.
- Initial Meeting – The mediator explains the process, establishes ground rules, and identifies key issues needing resolution.
- Discussion and Negotiation – The mediator facilitates structured discussions on finances, property division, child custody, and other concerns, helping both parties communicate openly.
- Compromise and Agreement – The mediator guides spouses toward mutually acceptable solutions, ensuring both parties feel heard and fairly treated.
- Finalizing the Agreement – Once an agreement is reached, the mediator drafts a document outlining the terms, which can then be reviewed by attorneys and submitted to the court for approval.
Benefits of Mediation
- Less Expensive – Mediation is often more affordable than going to court since it reduces attorney fees and legal costs.
- Faster Resolution – Mediation can speed up the divorce process by avoiding lengthy court battles.
- More Control – Instead of a judge making decisions, spouses retain control over their agreements.
- Less Stressful – The process is typically more peaceful and less adversarial.
- Better for Co-Parenting – Mediation encourages open communication, which can lay the foundation for healthier co-parenting.
- Private and Confidential – Unlike court proceedings, mediation is confidential, keeping personal matters out of the public record.
Going through a divorce can be a nightmare for some, but it doesn’t have to be. Consulting with a divorce attorney/mediator, like myself, can be very beneficial in helping you determine the best course of action.
If you are considering divorce, let me guide you. As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator,
I can discuss your best options with you!
Understanding the divorce process and considering mediation can help make this difficult journey more manageable. While divorce is never easy, mediation can offer a more amicable, cost-effective, and less stressful path forward.
Call us now to find out more and to schedule your free consultation.
Call 212.734.1551.
I look forward to helping you.
Warm regards,
Lois